If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Just pee around me
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
