the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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