I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
