I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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