wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Randomize
