Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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