Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
we're chasing vodka with high fives
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
