Pants 0. Shit 1.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
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