Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize