Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
