Just fell off a train. Bad.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
