How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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