so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Randomize
