I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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