Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Randomize
