WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
