so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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