its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
