I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Randomize
