So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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