I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Randomize
