I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
Randomize
