what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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