Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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