So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Randomize
