either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Randomize