maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
