is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
