You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
