Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
