I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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