I think scott just propositioned me for sex
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
