apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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