I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Randomize