after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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