I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
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