And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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