i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Houston, we have a squirter
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize