I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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