You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
