im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
that may or may not have been my penis.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
