I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
