Hey man sorry I got all grabby
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
