Non-Jews are for practice
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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