The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Randomize
