He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
