Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
