We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
