i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
