yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Randomize
