I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
