wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Randomize