No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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