using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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