I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
people are starting to question the shark bite story
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
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