So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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