Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
