Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Randomize
