So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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