Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
