Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Randomize
